The healthy thing to do here is to concentrate on the exact moment that this man was brought to climax in a cheap motel room off a major highway. Just concentrating on the thought of his sperm exploding out of his cock onto the tits and hair of your wife will help you feel much better about resolving the situation.
There should be a NYT story generator on teh internet. This one would be,
"Habib Muhammad Jihad Al Akbar is a poor immigrant living in a tenement in Philadelphia. Fifteen times a day, he prays to Allah and volunteers at his mosque. But Habib's American dream is now a nightmare. He is on food stamps, and struggles to make ends meet. He endures a daily barrage of insults to his ethnicity and his ancient religion. "I have been called a Camel jockey three times this week," Habib says. "While it is true that I did race camels in my native land, I do not appreciate the slur."
I think everyone now understands how this particular incident will be covered up by our Government and Media. I'd like to talk about it as it happens in real time. The overwhelming effort seems to be in minimizing the organized terrorist operation that went down yesterday. Instead of a community of Muslims that are radicalized, it will be painted as a lone gunman that was tortured by ethnic slurs that he had to endure in today's racist military.
Remember when Ground Control tried to Harass Major Tom? They kept giving him orders like "check ignition, take your protein pill" etc. Major Tom was all like, "fuck that, planet earth is blue and there's nothing I can do, (motherfucker.)"
We will remember you from how you are now, not how you'll look strung up on the bridge in burnt pieces.
