Huh? So the fact that I have a gf means that I've settled?
Your quirkiness is coming out loud and clear, even via an anon message board! No wonder you're single & unable to get a date at 40/50/60/1000 or whatever age you are.
"Send me a pic of your gf. After I wack off to it as part of my nightly solo ritual, I'll tell you that you've settled just because you even have a gf"
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You couldn't be more wrong if you tried, but then, your mistake is understandable if you've bought into the pr0n industry bullshit that says the world revolves around sex. BTW, the fact that I live alone doesn't mean I do everything alone, I often go hiking in the mountains or attend concerts and sporting events with friends. Sometimes I do those things alone, big deal.
All being alone means is that I have COMPLETE FREEDOM to do those things as I please, and that is what I would have to sacrifice for a "relationship". Personally, I'm content with that freedom, you apparently were not. However, the way you've reacted to my choices suggests that you're not content now either, and it's likely the reason you weren't content alone hasn't been resolved by getting into a relationship.
You are a better man than I. As I grow older, I see more of the hype society sells us, eg, "did you get any?" or "is she good in bed?".
But if you want to be taken seriously in this society (for instance if you want to climb the corporate ladder), you cannot be a single male; people think that you are weird or that something is wrong with you.
Being single in society is seen as a character defect.
My wife (happily married 17 yrs) works at one of these high-end matchmaking places. By far, the three most common caveats she hears from the 40+ women are:
- "If he is a single Dad, he has figured out how to juggle a social life and single parenting"
(Women want to make sure the guy will have time to actually, like, spend time with them)
- "No recent divorcess"
(Women don't want to be a rebound)
- "If he is over 40, he has been either married or in a long-term relationship"
(There apparently is a (mis?)conception out there that guys who have passed the 40 mark and have never given either marriage or a live-in arrangement a try are damaged goods)
These could all be misguided, but my wife has been doing this for about 6 years now and the same 3 caveats keep coming to the top.
No criticism of your wife, but you have to understand the clientele of such establishments. Let's face it, the reason people pay to use those dating agencies is because they couldn't find someone to be with them in the real world, try as they might. A big part of that was probably the list of men they considered "damaged goods" when they were in their 20s. They aren't the type of people I want to attract, regardless of whether or not they're "hot".
And again, whether this is considered "damaged goods" is highly dependent upon whether I'm really all that bothered about "finding someone". Admittedly, I won't hit 40 for a few years, but as I get older, the need I have to "find someone" dissipates as I do more with my single life. When I was in high school, I was really worried about what women thought of me. It went down slightly in college as I was too busy getting some decent grades, and it steadily tailed off when I started my working life as I was earning my own money and could afford to actually do things.
Now that I'm in my 30s, I'm really not that bothered. Sure, I'd get into a relationship if I met a nice girl with whom I have common interests and goals, but I won't be all that bothered if it doesn't happen, and I'm not about to marry purely for sex. As I see it, I'll be happy in my life either way. If people want to think of me as "damaged goods", that's their decision. I neither control that nor care about it. If it ever becomes a serious problem (and I don't think it will), I'll just go and buy myself a ring and tell people that my ex-wife died. Until then, I'll just get on with the other 98% of life.
You may be right, but I have no desire to climb the corporate ladder anyway. In fact, I'm planning to be out of that game completely by the time I hit 45. Living alone I have few expenses, so it's definitely possible. Whether or not society takes me seriously is their business, not mine. As I said before, if it ever becomes a serious problem for me, there are ways to fake it, but I doubt that's ever going to happen.
Married tard here. Why was I "owned"? My wife said a lot of her clients have certain requirements... Another poster said that might be true but he lives by his own rules and won't bow to societal pressure... how does my wife get "owned" in that situation? She's paid to listen to women harp on and on about requirements, just like you're paid to do whatever it is you do. So where's the ownership?
Wasn't commenting on your wife. Not sure if you are the married tard that was pwned; I was referring to an earlier post where a married tard said the OP attended masturbation and Xbox parties.
So let's see -- they don't want a guy who's had a "recent" relationship, but they don't want a guy who's been single for a long time either. Oh yeah, and the guy can't be a single father, even though a good percentage of these women are probably single mothers. What DO they want exactly?
Actually, I think I can answer that. I was in a city recently where one dating agency was so desperate to get a 45 year old single mother matched up that they were advertising her on street billboards. Her requirements? "I want a man who is a combination of Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp" -- those were the EXACT words of the ad.
Suddenly, being a sockfucker and avoiding those demands doesn't seem so bad.
The women who are part of the dating club the OP was talking about seem vapid and idiotic; they probably followed the standard formula of slutting it up in their 20's, falling in love, and having kids. Somewhere along the way they fucked their marriage up, either by marrying the wrong type of guy or having some glaring personality and coping deficiencies. Now they are single and looking for someone to complete their broken lives.
56 here; When it happens it happens suddenly, dramatically over a 4 or 5 year period. And then you'll see what you're' missing...or rather, what has missed you.
Be patient, work out, eat well, don't worry. It's all an illusion, a fraud to trick you into toiling like a slave...
You'll be like the salmon that fights his way upstream to breed and then die, battered discolored and bruised...washed up on the shore for eagles to feast upon.
You ever get married? A lot of the women I dated in my 20's are fat and haggard now. Not that I will still have my looks forever. If a chick is cool and chill, I don't care what she looks like. Trouble is, I haven't found many.
I think you've hit the nail on the head. Look, we all know the hot chicks have got a big advantage in the dating game, but most of the less hot/average chicks seem to have a chip on their shoulder about the whole issue (rather like beta males). If they just sucked it up and worked on making their personalities pleasant, they might just find a man out there who wants a relationship with them. For some reason, however, they seem to envy the hot chicks who get fucked & chucked by alphas.
Even average chicks emulate the hotties. The litmus test is how much at peace my house is when I come home. I wouldn't live with most of my guy friends; there are even fewer women I would share a home with. I value the peace and quiet of my house. If that means being alone, so be it.
